Dane Jeffrey Cook (March 18, 1972) is an American stand-up comedian and film actor. A judge ruled to evict Cook from his Hollywood apartment last month because nobody picked up after the comic's dog, Dane has decided to fight the decision stating that Belushi and Martin's supernatural spirits (who used to inhabit the apartment) help give him inspiration.

Cook claims he only rented the apartment in the first place because his heroes, Belushi and Martin, used to live in the same complex back in the day, and according to the court docs filed in L.A. County Superior Court, he would suffer serious "mental and emotional" damage and his career would crumble if he was forced to leave.

In the three pages of desperate begging and pleading for the judge to hear his appeal, Cook also adds that he will cut a $40,000 check to the owner of the apartment ASAP to cover all of the suffering that his dookie-droppin' doggie has caused, if he is allowed to stay.

From his petition (via TMZ):

The extreme hardship I will suffer [if evicted] is not directly financial; it is instead emotional and mental…John Belushi and Steve Martin are former tenants of the premises in which I have lived for the last 10 years; I especially wanted to live in this unit for exactly that reason…after moving into that unit, I felt a creative drive that I have never felt before…I know that the presence of those that have lived there before me affects me deeply and provides me with inspiration.

Comedians can really easily run out of ideas and ’stories’; I am extremely frightened that this will happen to me if I am forced to move out of my apartment.

I’ve seen it happen to other comics, that something interferes with their connection to their creative muse, and it’s destroyed careers…The emotional and mental suffering I am experiencing now, and will experience if I have to leave, will drastically and negatively affect my life just as much as any financial or physical hardship will do.

Cook would later give up on the appeal to stay in the apartment and is now living at a $7 million dollar home in Hollywood Hills.